You slapped me and covered my mouth my screams died inside


You slapped me and covered my mouth my screams died inside

Poem By F.A | Captured Illusions

Should Have Let Me Live



you were the same height as papa
with a bright smile,

you looked gentle
you asked me to play with you
maa used to tell me not to talk to strangers
i told you i will ask my mamma
your smile turned into a frown
i got scared. i said sorry.
papa used to hug me when i apologize for a mistake
but the way you pulled my hand,
uncle, i got scared
were you going to punish me?

all i asked was to get
permission from maa
i cried, i thought you would
leave my hand, my wrist was
hurting from your tight grip
but you pushed me into a car,
uncle, where were you taking me?
i wanted to go back home.
uncle, i was crying. i was hungry
i was scared.
you slapped me and
covered my mouth
my screams died inside—

like a dead moth,
when you stopped the car,
i thought you'd take me back to mamma.
but there was no home, only a forest full of dark trees.

maa would have been preparing dinner
i wanted to go home,
you pulled me out of the car
and threw me over your shoulder
you ran too fast,  my head started spinning.
my heart was beating loudly.
 you said it would be easy.
 when i had to get an injection
 maa used to tell me to count to 10
 that it would be easy.
 uncle, when you pierced my body,
 i counted till 10, the pain didn't subside.
 i counted till hundred, till thousand...
 i forgot the next number.
 i looked into your eyes,
 you looked wicked and hungry.
 my legs became numb but
 you didn't stop
 uncle, i saw blood running down my legs,
 i was scared to death
 when you stopped, i thought it was over
 but you stifled my neck.
 my breath heavy already,

why did you stop my hampering breath, uncle?
 don't you ever wish to have a daughter?
 for i, was your daughter, too
 and you should have let me live

so that i could help you
 i would have asked my papa to
 give you some food and shelter,
 so that you didn't have to cut and
 eat another child ever.


This Poem was published in the March Issue of Captured Illusions.

Click the Link to order the latest issue of Captured Illusions